Let that shit go!

Yes, I am aware I have written a previous blog about letting go; however, this topic comes up for me a lot. We all like to hang onto things and carry them around for much longer than needed. Letting go isn’t an easy thing to do. I personally struggled to let go of so much. I struggled to open up my life to admit I am not perfect. I am using my struggles, my failures, and my lessons learned to inspire others. It’s okay to talk about these things. 

The top two pieces of advice I always give people is that communication is key. You can’t change anything without communication. You can’t change yourself without talking to yourself. You can’t end a disagreement by not saying anything at all. Now don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean showing up at a disagreement ready to fight. Communication should be calm. If you cannot remain calm take some time and calm down. No one can read your mind. No one can figure you out if you don’t talk about it. Nothing can be fixed if you don’t open up and use your words. Kind composed words. 

The second is always let that shit go. You can’t forever be carrying your shit around with you, it gets heavy. It causes us unwanted stress and it causes us to be unwell. You must let go, free yourself, and move forward. 

Why am I sharing this information with you? I am sharing this information with you because believe it or not I was once a horrible communicator and I held onto things for way longer than I needed. By horrible communicator I mean I either didn’t talk about it or I blew up in anger and yelled. Sure, it made me feel great in the moment but overall, it made me depressed and overthink how I reacted. I spent a lot of time saying sorry after the fact instead of using kind composed words. There is no need for cruel or hateful words. Choose your words wisely, you cannot take them back.

I grew up with two vastly unique styles of parents. Nothing against my parents, we all just do the best we can and hope it’s enough for our children. Life doesn’t come with a how-to manual! No judgment. I fully admit I struggled with communicating with my son calmly. I was a loud-voiced yeller. This kid knows how to push my buttons. This mini version of me can be downright annoying! I admit we struggled, and I ended up reaching out for some help. Asking for help felt like I failed as a parent. I didn’t want it to just be my son who worked on things. I also knew I needed to change. We signed up for a program to help us both and our relationship has never been better. Something we both didn’t want to do at first became one of the best experiences we had. We met some utterly amazing people throughout our journey. This program we did I have recommended to many other people. We went in with an open mind and were impressed by the progress and help we received. 

Sometimes we all need a little help. I am not perfect. I am always learning how to be a better communicator. I am always learning how to be my best self. Asking for help shouldn’t be viewed as a failure, it should be viewed to empower yourself.  Make today and each day you are given as memorable as you can. Life is too short to hold onto things we no longer need. Let that shit go! 




DIY (do it yourself)

I would say Pinterest, YouTube, and my stubbornness is the root cause for all of the  DIY projects I take on. I always think that doesn’t look too hard I could do that. Why would I pay someone else to do something I can do?  I am always learning new skills. I like to do things myself. I enjoy a challenge. During every COVID lockdown, I was motivated to paint something in my house. To take on a new project. To be clear I wasn’t fully locked down. I still had a job to report to. I absolutely freaking love to paint. I have repainted my house a few times over. Fresh new paint makes me happy.

During the first official lockdown, you couldn’t get tinted paint for whatever reason so I painted every ceiling. I was doing my yoga and meditation one morning when I looked up and noticed a spot on the ceiling above me that spiraled and lead me to wander my whole house looking at the ceiling. I was convived they all needed a fresh coat of paint. Painting ceilings is easy for me because I am tall and can reach the ceiling. I have painted a ton of ceilings for people over the years. I always volunteer to help paint. I don’t know why but I find it soothing and so rewarding when it’s done. Zen-like moment to stare at the new paint.

During another lockdown, I decided all the trim surrounding my windows and doors every single one needed a new coat of paint. One coat never covers what you want it to so it quickly became two or three. I repainted every door. I laughed thinking of all my hard work and not one person noticed. I think it really made the new windows stand out. How simple things can make me so happy.

This last lockdown is when I went all out. When I moved here I repainted my kitchen however with zero knowledge I went about it all wrong. I didn’t do any type of research I just sapped the paint on over the old and hoped for the best. With time it slowly began to peel and reveal flaws. Staring at the cupboards coming apart has been driving me mad. I have covered up most cabinets with fun flamingo stickers to hide the flaws but I lose sleep over this project. I knew it had to be done. I have no idea why I thought a good time to start was in the middle of a cold Canadian winter. This has been dragging on for months. Now with spring having arrived, the windows are open and I am running 2 heat guns. The goal is to finish the paint stripping by the end of April. Then onto sanding. cleaning, priming, and painting. I have given myself a deadline and I am working hard to reach it. I cannot wait to see the final reveal. I am not expecting anyone to notice my hard work but I know I put it in and I will be proud.

The many hours I have spent paint stripping got me thinking a lot about how removing layers of paint, and relieving what’s under is a lot like a self-help journey.  When I decided I needed to change the way my life was. I didn’t just wake up slap on some new “paint” and declare myself a better person. I didn’t hold myself together with fun flamingo stickers. It took years to figure out what made me this version. Why was I so negative? So unhappy? Why did I attract the same sort of people into my life? What could I do differently? Like this renovation this time I have done a lot of research I want to ensure the paint is removed correctly and reapplied so it doesn’t come apart. Same with self-help I wanted to go on a journey of finding myself and having the changes stick. I wanted to become the best version of myself. I wanted to fall in love with myself and the life I created. I wanted to be proud of myself and all of my accomplishments. I wanted to celebrate this feeling and help people going forward in my journey. I will forever be a work in progress. I am forever learning and changing. I am doing what I love to do.

Self-help means you have to put yourself ahead of anyone else. I don’t mean this in any selfish way I simply mean if you don’t help yourself you cant help others. You need to take time and work on yourself. I spend some time each and every day for myself. I make myself a priority. I spent years creating the best version of myself. I am proud of all the hard work I accomplished and the changes I made. Today I am living my best life. I make time for myself. I am making changes to make each and every day the best I can. Make each day as comfortable as you can.  I create positive memories. I am doing my best.


If you could call one person here or passed who would it be?

Recently I had someone ask me this question: “If you could call one person here or passed who would it be?

I couldn’t even answer the question I had tears rolling down my cheek. I would give anything for one more conversation with my Opa. We talked every day and I knew it would hurt when he was gone. I never knew it would hurt this much. My days feel like they are filled with silence. Your presence is missed.  Opa always made some part of my day just a little better with his sassy phone call. He called it the senior check-up. I don’t know who looked forward to the call more him or me. I miss this part of my everyday life. I feel lost without your calls. You had a way of making every day so much better. You always said make the day as comfortable as you can. I miss hearing your voice. Thank you for years worth of calls and memories.

Today Tuesday, April 5th would have been Opa’s 88th birthday. Today my family gathers to have cake in his honour. Opa loved birthdays, he never missed a birthday. His face always lit up with a feeling that he was surprised that he got a cake. Like we would ever have a birthday without cake. I freaking love cake! His birthday was a day he wanted his whole family together. He loved to have us all close. No matter what was going on you always put it behind you and enjoyed his day. You drank the strong farmer’s coffee and ate the delicious german cake.

I know this birthday won’t ever be the same without him. I will celebrate every April the 5th for as long as I live. It will forever be a day I remember and honour a man I was lucky enough to have for all these years as the world’s best Opa. My life wouldn’t be half as amazing as it is without all his love, wisdom, sass, advice, help, and support.

Happy Birthday, Opa! I miss you tons. Love you lots.