Hello, summer, how I have missed you! Today marks the official first day of summer. It started as an overcast rainy kind of day but I love the rain, it awakens all the senses. I love to go out for a walk right after the rain with the rich color and crisp scents.

As I am writing Kelso the corgi dog is sitting beside me hinting every so obviously that she would like to go for a walk. I accidentally asked my son if he was walking to school?  Since that moment miss Kelso has been trying so hard to make me walk. She lives for her daily walk.

Next week marks the last day of school for my son and the last week of work before our summer adventures begin. We have two jam-packed months filled with fun adventures. Make it a summer to remember. Creating moments together that we will forever remember and that fills our hearts. Every year we plan some great summer adventure D’s choice and it always ends up being so much fun. I always have to cut our adventures short due to work. Shift working and being a single mom definitely makes me think I have missed a lot of his years. I am thankful for all the love, support, and help I have to raise my boy. I am blessed to have a village of people supporting and loving my boy.

This year between experiencing death and turning forty life hit me hard. This year taught me more than ever to be thankful for each and every day I am given. I know life can be over at any moment but I hope to make it into my late senior years. The thought of my life being half over well I have so many things I want to do. My bucket list is long!

I started thinking why don’t I do those things? It turns out I was filled with fearfulness. I refuse to live a life filled with fear been there done that don’t recommend it. What did I do? I started facing my fears. I know fear is just the way I look at things. I had to change how I was looking and thinking about things that caused me fear. For example, I have wanted to quit my job for years and pursue something that has meaning and something that uses my skills. I loved my paper-pushing job and the co-worker friends I have gained along the journey but it wasn’t really using my skills and it’s the same kind of day in and day out. I want to do something that fills my heart and I feel like I have made a difference. I have always wanted to work from home. I love where I live. The more I look into jobs that can be done from home the more excited I am. I am no longer fearful I am excited.

As a wise senior once told me Fuck it. Life is too short live it. Follow your heart and your dreams.

Right now I must go and follow my corgi on a walk as much as I want to say I am in charge of my house we all know who the Queen is.

Happy first day of summer everyone. Here is to gorgeous weather, enjoying fun in the sun, lake life, van life, and patio season with friends and family. Onto the next great adventure and writing the next chapter of my life.

Change of plans

Last night I wrote a blog called “Jack of hearts” about my Tuesday plans, however, those plans fell through, and at 6 am I was sitting in front of my screen thinking well now what do I write about? I was thinking what will I do with my day? I have so many projects on the go. So much I want to do and yet today I didn’t want to do anything at all. I was feeling tired and uncharged.

When I stepped outside the sun was shining and it was going to be a gorgeous day. Perfect day for some good tunes and a drive. I decided to take the same drive I have been doing for most of my life. I headed to the farm to visit Gran.

I poured a cup off coffee and headed out. The first song that played off my random play list is a song that since my Opas passing keeps leaving me in tears. It’s hard enough driving to the farm I was hoping this song wouldn’t set the tone of the day.

I keep thinking I will open the door at the farm and hear the greeting my Opa used to say I miss so much. Instead, my tears quickly turned to laughter as Gran’s dog my best dog friend almost knocks me over with excitement. No one in this world greats me with such excitement. Dogs know, he knows I need that when I come to visit. I spend most of my visit playing, laughing, and cuddling this dog who thinks he is a lap dog but in reality, is a large breed dog. He gives great hugs!

I needed this day. The last couple of days I have had a heavy heart overthinking things from the past and worrying about the future that I forgot to take a breath and just enjoy today. I cant change the past and I cant predict the future I can just live each and every day and make them as amazing as I can. Today reminded me of this message.

Gran and I spent our day shopping, we enjoy a delightful lunch together with the best chai latte in Picton. Last week we dined at a local market in Wellington and she hooked me up with a taco stand I would highly recommend. Now I love a taco but these were Doritos bag tacos, yes you heard me. She took me to a guy who cuts open a bag of Doritos either Cool ranch or Nacho cheese and puts all the taco fixings on top of the Doritos and you eat it with a fork. Yes, the way to my heart is tacos and chips. I love a good road trip with snacks. Perhaps I should look into being a travel food blogger. Dream jobs do exist.

Gran and I always spend so much time talking and it makes my heart so full. You have a way of making me forget my worries. Thank you Gran for always being my person. I am so lucky to have you.

On my drive home I got a text message from “Smalls” a girl I am convinced is just the smaller version of myself who reminded me she always has my back no matter how tall I am. Your text brought tears to my eyes and I hope you know how thankful I am for you and how much I love you girl!

I ended my day with the perfect cup of tea shared with my girlfriend Jes. Just like in the old days she and I shared a snack and a show. We have been watching this show now for years together. It that always brings us to tears and leaves us filled with hope. A show that reminds us change is always possible. You have to make the decision to change no one can change you! I need this episode. Thanks girl!

I know there will be bad days and some hard times but thank you ladies this wasn’t the Tuesday I planned but it turns out a change of plans was just what I needed.

The ocean is calling and I must go

There is nothing in this world that fills my heart up like being at the ocean does. From the first memory of collecting sand dollars and fun shells along the Pacific Ocean shore on a perfect sunny day with my grandma Davis. I still have the last sand dollar we found and every time I look at it I remember that wavy day, the sounds, the smiles on our faces, and how grandma could spend hours walking the shore getting lost in the beauty of the Ocean. Thanks for sharing your love with me.

Since that first glimpse of the wavy ocean, I have been obsessed to put it lightly. Nothing calms my soul and f fills my heart like the sea-salty air and the sound of the waves crashing upon the shore. I love the sound of waves its music for my soul. I get swept up in the soothing sound and I don’t want to leave. The endless amount of sand you can never quite get rid of. The wild wind-blown beach hair, the smells, the sun, the storms. I never want to leave the ocean. I have never had such a strong feeling to bring me to tears, the beauty of the ocean gets me every time. I am meant to sit upon the shore and write. The ocean is truly the place where I am happiest. I am blessed to have seen many beautiful things in this lifetime and I am working on ticking things off my must-see bucket list. If I never see another thing I am grateful for all the times I spend alongside the oceans.

I live in Ontario Canada and sadly I have no Ocean near where I live. I have to travel to the east or the west coasts to fulfill my salt addiction. I do however live steps away from the great lake Ontario and it’s also a very gorgeous body of water. My windows are usually open and I love nothing more than to hear the waves crashing onto the rocks. It’s not quite as soothing as waves washing on the sand yet it’s a sound I can’t seem to live without. I am beyond blessed and I love where I live.

I am a water sign, and it is true that they say I need water. I spent a lot of time down at the shore of Lake Ontario taking in the beauty and dreaming. The sun rises and the sunsets take my breath away no matter how many I witness them, that is a sight that always amazes me, the colors and the reflection on the lake. I do my best writing with a water view. I feel like my soul dries up when I am not near water. I instantly feel inspired and the need to write near water. The funniest part is I don’t enjoy getting into the water, it’s just the sight and senses when I am near. Water inspires and recharges me. I need water to fuel me.

Recently I got to experience the Atlantic Ocean from a place I had never even heard of before I went on a trip that lead to me Rehoboth Beach Delaware. I have such a full happy heart from that adventure of walking for miles along the Atlantic Ocean, a sight I haven’t seen in years and have never seen from the USA.

I am a Canadian born and raised. Anytime I can get time away from my job I immediately head to the west coast. Take me to the mountains and the Pacific Ocean.  I left my heart on Vancouver Island. I constantly dream of the view from Chesterman beach looking at Franks Island. I thought the view could never be topped. I stand corrected the east coast has a lot to offer I just needed a reminder.

Here to many more gorgeous wavy ocean days. The only ‘BS” I need in my life is beach and sunshine!