Writing letters

Growing up one of my favorite memories was writing letters. Writting letters inspired me to keep writing. Writing letters is still something I love to do.

In public school, we wrote to people from the other side of the world. Places I grew up dreaming of visiting. Worlds apart I couldn’t wrap my head around life being any different than Canada. I was shocked that some parts of the world didn’t have snow in winter.

I wrote my best friend who lived a few hours away. We would fold out letters into the most complicated origami we could learn. When I look back on these letters, I laugh not only at the folding but the troubles we wrote about during the simple times of life. If only we knew those weren’t even problems, just wait until you’re an adult. Brace yourself the problems will be coming.

I loved to write to my family who lived out west. I wanted to keep my family close to me so that I would never feel alone. My biggest fear was being alone. Writing letters made me feel like  I was a part of all of my families life.

I would run home after school to check the mailbox. I still can’t think of a greater feeling than seeing your words as they danced across the pages and I soaked every word drawing a picture in my mind of what you were describing. Worlds apart, your writing made it feel like you were beside me. Writing back to you excited me and I couldn’t wait for the next letter.  I burned through the pages, envelopes, and endless amounts of stamps. Stamps with beautiful designs. I look forward to seeing your writing more than you will ever know. I have so many letters I treasure from people who are no longer hear. On days when I miss you the most I am glad I can read the words you left me with. Thank you for always writing. Thank you for making time to make me feel loved.

I haven’t written a letter in years. The most writing I do is a quick message in a card. Nowadays everything is typed and emails come in constantly it takes away that excitement, the wait, the joy of ripping open an envelope. I still love a card with a message but even those are few and far between. It seems the way to wish anyone anything is on social media. I feel like all those sweet instant messages will disappear and we will be left to remember those days.

The days when we wrote letters to practise our cursive writting which they no longer teach in school. My son asked me did I know they used to have an old way to writting where your pen never left the paper. Way to make my writing seem so old like I was chipping the letters into stone. Oh technology how you have taken away our simple writting skills. If we ever want to write secret messages our kids cannot understand we dont need another language we just need cursive writing.

I am encouraging my son to write more letters. I will forever be writting things to him. Slipping little love notes and reminders of how much he is loved into his everday life.

I would love my son to have more pen pals. I have a wonderful friend who sends him post cards from all over the world wherever she travels off too. He is always so thrilled to get mail addressed to him. The biggest smile come across his face as he can now read the words you write. You will never know how much I appreciate that you do this!

My son is an old soul and always bonds so well with elderly people I asked him recently if he would like to write to a retirement home and make someones day and he absolutely loved this idea. Challenge excepted. Secretly I am doing it to improve his writing but as the world goes on line less people take to paper and his writing skills are his lowest grade. As it was once my lowest grade until I took to the love of writting then I came and will always be unstoppable.

We always write out things we are grateful for and I hope we can look back at these for years to come and smile at all the amazing things we have and will have in our lives. Leaving a permanent ink stain on paper to read back over the years. I hope my words bring you love and give you that same feeling I felt. I hope you son collect cards and letters like I did to treasure on your hardest days you will know how loved you are.




Trust the next chapter of your life you know the author.

Recently someone said to me “Trust the next chaper of your life you know the author” this really made me think. As someone who aspires to one day finish this darn book I am working on writing, with the ultimate dream to be someones favourite author. I sometimes forget I am writing my life story. I have been so focused on this time of my life and sharing part of my life and lessons my sweet heart dog taught me. After my last blog a lot of people reached out to me about my son meeting his father and how it got to that point in life. I would say: We are all doing the best we can. Be kind to one another. Leave people better than you found them. Learn to forgive and how to love. Take time, sometimes all you need is time. Start with self forgiveness and self love and then you can move onto forgiving others and loving others. Learning forgivness and love enriched my life. No one taught me the art of self love. I became obessed with it when my life hit hard time. I will forever be working on myself and making time for myself. You have to take care of yourself in order to care for others. 

It took me many years to learn and practise the art of self love. After I became a single mother I made alot of life changes and its has been a wild ride over the last 10 years. I am honest and I admit Inever wanted to be a mom and when I found out my tears were not happy tears they were pure fear. My biggest fear has been my greatest accomplishment. My son D is a sassy little version of me and I am thankful for friends and family who have helped me bring up this little man. I am thankful for those who gave me strength and kind words over the years. I have to admit seeing his father after 10 years was a difficult decision but I want to make anything my son wants possible.  I have no idea how this will turn out but when you think of it we rarely know how anything we do will turn out we just do the best we can. Do your best.

Do I have regrets? Don’t we all? I have learned most of my life lessons the hard way but those lessons when learned the hard have stuck with me. I know I haven’t always made the best or right decisions but I did what I thought was right and I am thankful how life turned out and I wouldn’t change anything or I wouldn’t be where I am today. I know how to take ownership for the wrongs I have done and I willing say sorry when its due. I have had some great conversations over the last few years for reaching out to people I owed a sorry too. I have had alot of chapters in my life some page turning dramas, some boring parts, some what the fuck parts, some filled with laughter, love, change and filled with memories. I hope when I one day leave this world people remember the good in me and my son keeps that spark of life.

This las year has taught me that our time is limited and you can write your life however you want. What will your next chapter hold? Trust your process and decisions you make. Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it do it anyways! Make your book whatever you want it is your story and you are the author.


Oh my goodness where has time gone?

Spring arrived with a mix of weather from hot to cold to stormy and nice, just pick a season I don’t know how many layers I need. I have had my windows open and for once heard the songs of beautiful birds and not the constant honking of geese. Cairo the kitty can always be found in the window he quite likes the Canadian air.

April started with a storm that knocked out my power and then with a generator, a gas tank, and cold wind blow hairdo I made an error that almost blew up my house. I am thankful for my guardian angel,  it was his birthday and I know he keeps my house safe. A quick crying phone call to remind me how thankful I am yet again to be alive. Thank you for keeping me safe.

April will forever hold 2 of my favourite birthdays. Opa would have been 89 this year and all of your family ate your favourite cake. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you! I am sure you hear me constantly talking to you.

Landon the boy now the man who made me an Auntie I will forever run and hug you till it hurts. I am so thankful you came on Easter. I loved looking around the table and thinking Opa would love this everyone together.

Spring always puts me in the mood to clean and organize and now that I have my house back we are making it our home. With so much room and decluttering that a move brings I feel  rejuvinated. That same feeling I feel when I walk out after the ran and take a deep breath in Ah thats my favourite spring moment. Inhale, exhale, declutter and tackle the next chapter of life.

I have spent a month off, not working and just enjoying my time. I have had the best April! Welcome spring. I am stress free and ready to tackle all the good vibes coming my way.

The caddy is out of storage and I took a lovely sunny day coffee cruise that just filled my soul! Every year that car purrs along the road adds the biggest smile to my face. No matter the worries the crushed velour seats melts them away. I love the caddy! Every first cruise brings tears to my eyes even twenty four years later I still feel that same emotion of pure love. I look over at my dad who just knows he has to be passenger and the smile on his face these are the moments I will forever treasure.

April brought upon a great lunch with Gran and a delightful cheesecake at a local joint that we both swore we would share our slices and then without even noticing because they were so delicious we devoured them. I had to shake Gran down to make sure she left our new kitty at home she is the reason Cairo came into our lives she is the animal whisperer. Thankfully she is not a cat napper D did tell her that she could no longer be his Gran if she stole the cat. I am grateful this woman is still a huge part of my life. I would be lost without you gran thanks for always being my person!

April brought a sisters visit that made me laugh until it hurt and filled my heart with so much love. Any time spent with those girls I cherish and I am so thankful over the years we have stayed in touch. Our parents may have went seperate ways but you will forever be my sisters.

April brought a message from my BC brother right after I said I needed to get in touch he messaged me first and this NEVER happens. It was so nice to catch up and I can hear the mountains calling my name. I can’t wait to dip my toes in the Pacific and see the mountains.

April brough upon a meeting I never thought would happen. My son met his father for the first time in 10 years. As I sat across the table watching these two meet I couldn’t help but chuckle about how much they are alike. I am still in a bit of shock that this meeting actually happened it has been a long time in the making and it will be interesting to see where this journey takes them.

April brought tons of time with friends. Road trips for snacks, shopping and endless hugs, love and future plans. I love my friends!

April brought upon some pretty wild hockey games and some second round drama I didn’t think would happen. Even though neither of my hockey teams made the playoffs I am still enjoying some heavy hitting games. Love me a good hockey game.

April brought upon so much relaxation, decluttering and work around the house. Thankful I didn’t blow the house up.  Buy a house they said it will be fun. It has been an adventure for sure. Thankful for the help I have. Thankful for all the amazing people who surround me.

Cheers to sunny days and all the adventures to come! Thankful for spring and all the things this year has taught me already.