Never say never

 

I have made a series of choices that have changed my life.  With these choices I learned to never say never.

Here are some examples of times in my life when I said never.

Never say never.

I said I would never have a child. I grew up dreaming of living a life spent alone surrounded by pets. I thought that was living the dream. I never dreamed I would be a mom. I am beyond thankful for my son. My son is the light of my life. I couldn’t imagine life without him. These last nine years of my life have been the best journey along side him. He has taught me so much and we have created so many memories together. He brings out a love I never knew existed in me. He is the little dude version of me and every day I am so thankful this sweet boy is mine.

After my heart dog, Charlie passed away I said I would never have another dog. Never say never within twenty-four hours my son found our Kelso’s dog online and she quickly came to join and run our family. You drive us crazy miss Kelso but we love you. The bond you share with D is beyond cute. He finally got the dog of his dreams. Careful what you wish for.

A year ago I decided to brave something I have always been fearful of. I am trying to face my fears and learn that I am only fearful because of the way I view something. Change the way you think about things and your experience can be very different.

A year ago I signed up for online dating. Something I said I would N-E-V-E-R do.

I said I would never online date. Never say never I braved it and I want to say is ladies holy heck how do you all do it? That process is exhausting! I picked a paid app praying that it would be a little bit better than the free apps. It didn’t restore my faith in dating. Online dating made me question my choices. I was overwhelmed and these dudes consumed a lot of my time. I met a couple of men that made me think I’ll be alone collecting dogs forever. Nothing wrong with that. My life was happy I just always thought my person was out there. I have spent the last six years alone working on myself after a horrible ending to a love story I thought would never end.  Never say never. I was enjoying life just me but I was at the point of being too independent and being alone FOREVER! Again nothing wrong with being alone I just always envisioned spending my time with “my person” but I was beginning to think this person I envisioned didn’t exist.

On the very last day of my membership, I was deleting my information taking down my pictures, and just being over this whole process. I didn’t think I failed I learned a lot about myself and others along the way. I gave myself 90 days which seemed like 900 by the time it wrapped up. As I was deleting my information, I am still not 100% sure how I ended up on this message in my inbox, but after reading this guy’s information, I thought I’d reply to just one more message.

I ended up having a wonderful conversation with this guy, then I chose to meet him. I honestly didn’t think we would hit it off and I almost canceled. At the last minute, I slapped on my lipstick and braved the meeting. I am happy to say it’s been 365ish days and we are still sharing our lives.

I said I would never have anyone live in my house. Seven years ago when I purchased this house it was going to be my house with my son and our dog. Our happy little lakeside living.

Never say never we now share our home. It went from our little house to one that’s again changed around re-painted and added another member in.  I am excited for what the next 365 days hold. I will admit I was nervous to move in together but I realized my fear of living with someone comes from past experiences and I am no longer bringing my past forward. This is a new experience and I will do my best every day to enjoy it.

I said I would never quit my hospital job. A job I loved for the last almost twelve years. Never say never. I did it. I left my job to pursue traveling and to get my book written. I am dedicating time every day to writing something I love. I am looking for the next great work-at-home opportunity to come my way. I am excited about where this journey takes me next.

I am letting go of fear and embracing what comes next. I will no longer say NEVER because I never know what could happen next. I am grateful for every day and I do my best to fill it with love and kindness.

 

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