The man behind the motto…Part 2

The man behind the motto…Part 2

Here is a link to man behind the motto if you haven’t read it.

As I sat down to interview, well okay maybe not interview as much as ask the man behind the motto my Opa (grandpa) some important life questions. I pitched this blog idea to him awhile back and he agreed. I figured he’s the wisest senior I know and why not share his knowledge with all of you. I had an idea of what I wanted to ask him and write about. I had to go out to the farm to chat because he doesn’t use technology and he only spends a few minutes on the phone. If you wanna talk to the senior you meet him in his office.

The office is 2 big desks pushed together. On granny’s side of the office it’s covered in all things horses and her laptop is on her desk. On Opa’s side of the office he has family pictures all around. He doesn’t use technology so his desk is covered with his daily reflection books. I wish he would type them out on the laptop so I could read his thoughts. His mind is always going.

Before I could ask my first question Opa started telling me about his earlier life. He painted a much different world that the one we live in today. It’s a world I cannot picture. I got so lost in his story I forgot all the questions I wanted to ask. I would love to write about his journey through the war as a child and how he came to Canada but when I started typing it all out it quickly neared 10 pages. He has had a life. I think parts could be broken down into future blogs.

He talked so highly of his family throughout his life. It was bringing a tear to my eye. This is not to say he hasn’t had his struggles with family but who hasn’t.

I asked “what does family mean to you?” Opa quickly replied “everything to me, family is number one.” He always says “like you family is everything” and I have to laugh. It is everything to me because he passed this down to me. I spent most of my childhood learning from Opa. He is the glue that holds everyone together.

I asked “What was your first car?” He smiles. I think he knows I have always wanted this car. “My first car was a 1954 VW beetle. Red.”

I asked “What is your dream car?” He looked at me puzzled. “I don’t really care what I drive.” This is true. Most of my life he’s had a barely running truck. I guess I didn’t inherit my love of cars from him, ha. If only had held onto that beetle I could be cruising in style. Maybe not with heat though. He said “the damn heater never worked.”

“What is your biggest accomplishment?” “That I am still alive. I am lucky.” He is not wrong. He’s survived some pretty serious health conditions. He really does have nine lives. This answer warmed my heart. It is a huge accomplishment to make it to your 80’s. I had no idea what he would say to this question. I thought it might be a building answer or something about family. But I guess none of this could have been accomplished if it weren’t for him being alive.

“What’s one thing you wished you would have told your younger self?” Learn a trade which is needed. He has always said this will take you far in life. He is always telling his grandkids and great grandkids this.

Since he is the man behind my life’s motto I had to know “what does the motto mean to you?” Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it. His answer was perfect: “It means what it really is. When you try so hard like I do with my family, well, when it doesn’t always work out I know I did my best. I’m not going to not talk to them. Do your best and more than that you can’t do.” That folks is what it’s all about. He feels in his heart he has done his best. He almost never gives up. He just keeps going at a problem from different angles.

I struggle with sleep and so does Opa so I asked “What keeps you up at night?” “You name it he says.” Opa’s mind is always going he is always thinking about something or someone. I know I have kept him up at night before but now he would say “you’re doing alright”. Sorry for the sleepless nights. Thanks for never giving up on me!

Opa has been going to Alcoholics Anonymous for 32 years. His commitment to the program is life long. He has a huge community of people from the program. He often quotes and shares stories from AA. I have always wanted to know “What is the biggest lesson you learned from AA?” He immediately feels the hit of this question and says “Woah, the program taught me how to be a human being. Don’t lie. Don’t expect too much. Don’t give too much. Be nicer to people. When you make a deal, make sure it’s 50/50, it’s not always about you.” He wonders if being an alcoholic inheritor. He ponders some theories which kinda scare me because alcoholism runs on both sides of my family. He says “there no two ways about, it I think differently.” This answer made me smile. These are all the things I love about my Opa. I couldn’t be prouder of the man he is.

Opa and granny have been together a long time I asked “how long they had been together and what do you think is the best piece of relationship advice?” I hope one day to find a love like they share. He says “Oh granny and I have been together what 12? 13 years?” I laugh because I know it has been much longer. He shouts for granny to come to the office she quickly lays down the law it’s been 31 years. Opa pretends to be shocked and laughs “what? Really that’s way too long.” He answers what the best piece of advice is, he says, “her thinking is so different than mine. What I like so much about her is she gives facts and not dreams. Together we decide on the right thing. We compromise and come to an agreement. He says it a nice way to live.” Okay before you think that’s all sunshine and rainbows, let me tell you it’s not. They live on a farm where things can always go wrong I have seen the yelling and screaming and occasional thing throw but no one gets hurt and its always worked out. It’s been 31 years and they are an inspiration.

Granny went on to give me her life advice don’t worry I took notes and I plan to share it in a future blog.

We wrapped up our office chat, questions and shared a coffee break. I am so lucky to have such wonderful grandparents. I talk to them every day and I cherish all our memories. The life lessons these two have taught me I know will carry me far in life.

Thank you seniors for your daily phone calls and doses of wisdom!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in life

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in life…

In 2005 I was in college for Corrections. I never dreamed of working as a prison guard like the degree is usually used for. I dreamed of working in programs to help rehabilitate offenders. I always wanted to help. In my last year of college I did two placements that forever changed my life and the way I view offenders.

My first placement was with Canadian Families and Corrections Network. I was able to go into the federal prisons in the Kingston area. I got to experience how visitors enter to visit, including the process of being searched. I was okay with this until you can’t touch the search dog. But the dog was always so darn handsome. I was able to be a part of family visitation days. I would join in the visiting areas by the inmates and family members. I would meet with families who were faced with the most unimaginable futures. I was lucky enough to be able to experience family days and see the love. I helped with the children’s programs. I met so many sweet children who made me some of the most amazing art. I was able to see how inmates are placed upon arrival and the programs available to them from schooling to drugs and alcohol programs. This was an eye opening experience to say the least.

My second placement was at a place called Bridge House. The house was for families of inmates. It has since closed down but it was a non-profit, government home that was around for more than twenty years. It was founded by a federal inmate’s wife who saw the need for support and affordable accommodations. The cost per night in 2005 I believe was $15.00. The kitchen you soon understood was the heart of the home. The visitors, staff and women of the community came together and shared meals and stories. I had great conversations and tears with some of the most amazing women I have met to date. I even learned how to cook a few meals. The guests at Bridge House could make local phone calls and receive collect calls from the prisons. It also offered transportation to the prisons in the area. It was a much needed service and after its closure was greatly missed. I am so thankful I had the opportunity to have my placement here. I saw the need for this house.

While doing this placement I met a lady who I clicked with instantly. I ended up helping her relocate to Kingston. She allowed me to help with her prison wedding. I got to know her and always looked forward to our time together. She made my days brighter. When she left Bridge House I broke some rules and hid a gift for her because deep in my heart I knew it was the last time I would see her. She hid a notebook for me which was purple butterflies, my absolute favourite. I would like to share the note she wrote to me. It’s one I read often and I wish I knew where she was today!

“Dear Sascha, Just a little thank you for helping me. It’s been a pleasure being with you. Your light humour is wonderful and it helped me through some rough days. Much thanks!

“Now listen up here” ha ha Ok a few more ha has is always good!

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and you will go far in this life. I told you from the first time we talked that you were special and guess what? You still are. The skies the limit for you. Take what you can get from it and go for it.

All the best to you, the future looks bright and sunny for you. It’s yours for the taking.”

She had such beautiful penmanship. She then signed the letter and disappeared. This letter has survived 15 years with me through every move I have made. I think of all the laughs we shared. She also had an amazing sense of humour. We shared so many laughs and a few tears. Her life story was inspiring and I am honoured she shared it with me. She always used to say to me “now listen up here” and when I read that I can hear her voice and see her face, forever frozen in my memory. I cherish how kind she and her husband were to me. I never met him but he always used to chat when he called. She believed in me way before I believed in myself and I wish I could give her a big hug and say thank you! You forever changed my life in the most positive ways and 15 years later I still think of you. I hope you are doing fabulous!

Recently I made a list of all the positive people who changed my life and you were right there at the top. Not everyone on my list is still in my life but for those times we shared and your inspiring messages thank you. I am such a lucky woman!

Be kind with your words you never know who will hold onto them. Tell people how much you love them. Life is wild you may never get another chance. Today is your day!

Anything is possible

Anything is possible…

When you said these three words to me it brought tears to my eyes. I tuck my son into bed and we always have this cute goodnight that warms my heart. I always say “I love you son” to which he says “I love you more mom” Then I say “I love you the most” He says “I love you even more than you think” I say “I love you even more than you know” He says “I love you more than that” I usually just laugh and say goodnight and smother him in kisses but tonight I said “That’s not possible I love you the most” He only heard that’s not possible and he grabbed my face and said “Ma, anything is possible”

My son is an old soul who never ever stops talking. I have had a headache since 2013, ha. Yes, he even talks in his sleep. Sometimes he says something and it really makes me stop and think. After he told me anything is possible he went on to list a million things that are possible, probably just conning me into staying up later but I admit it was adorable and it worked.

I love his attitude towards life. He does honestly believe that whatever he puts his mind to he can do and I never want him to lose this ability.

Believe in your dreams.

When it comes right down to it, in life, if you believe anything is possible this attitude will be the fuel you need to succeed. This is the attitude that will make you unstoppable.

Most of my life I believed I was worthless and I wouldn’t amount to much in life. I was just waiting around to die. I convinced myself nothing was possible and this shitty life was all I was ever going to have. I wasted day in and day out. I wasted away at dead end jobs. I wasted away in relationships that were toxic. I just hoped every day I woke up it would be my last day. I dreamed of dying and I thought if I died no one would care. I lived in a black cloud of doom and gloom.

When I look back at this time in my life I am so very glad I didn’t die at the hands of someone else and I am glad I didn’t take my own life. I know how hard it is to see out of the darkness and into the light. I have come very close to forever darkness and no longer being here.

I am here to say anything is possible.

Stuck in my negativity I would have laughed if you would have said fast forward to 2019-2020 you will be a positive life coach, a blogger and working on writing the book of my dreams. I could never focus on long term I could barely get through a day.

Slowly I did make changes to my life. Every day I made positive life changes. I found my worth and my life took off. I think I changed every aspect of my life in order to start over on this path to positivity. I believe in myself and I am up for any challenge. I stand up for what I believe in and I get results.

The biggest part was changing my negative thought patterns. This did not happen overnight. It’s like updating an old computer it takes time. Nothing happens fast. I didn’t learn to think negatively in a day so I didn’t fix it in a day. It has honestly taken me years and I still sometimes catch myself thinking something and have to shut it down and replace it. Yes, I know how crazy this sounds to those of you reading this stuck in negativity. The first time I ever heard someone talk about positive thinking and replacing thoughts, well, I thought she was crazy. Legit one hundred percent crazy, that was until I looked around at the conference she was hosting and the room was packed with thousands of other people who were chanting positive thoughts along with her. Louise Hay was one heck of a game changer in her day and still going forward with the Hay House Corporation. If you haven’t heard of Louise Hay or Hay House, get googling.

Truth is anything is possible if you believe in yourself. Keep moving forward. Live with kindness. Be kind to yourself and those you meet. Keep a positive mindset and be open to the lessons life throws your way. Never stop learning and never stop believing anything is possible.

Power thought cards

Power thought cards….

Years ago I was given this deck of Power thought cards. This deck of cards is by Louise Hay and includes 64 cards. Yes, unlike ordinary cards which have 52 cards this deck comes with more. These cards are in a beautiful flower themed box and each one has a powerfully inspiring message with a gorgeous picture. I keep them on my desk and I often pull a card and smile at the thought. Anytime I am feeling stuck they give me a quick new thought. Like a good powerful distraction.

Today when I am struggling to come up with just the right word for a sentence in my book I saw the deck of cards on the corner of my desk. I needed a distraction because the idea wasn’t coming to me so it’s time to switch gears. I decided to see what today’s message of inspiration would be. It was so perfect I had to share.

The card I pulled from the deck and it’s a wonderfully coloured dark orange fading to light orange card. The picture on the front is eyes with a blue flower running between the eyes and the card says “I accept my uniqueness” The back of the card reads “There is no competition and no comparison, for we are all different and meant to be that way. I am special and wonderful. I love myself”

It has taken me a lot of years to get to the point I can say I love myself. Today I absolutely love being me. I am Sascha Davis. I am living out my dreams. I learned to love everything about me. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I wake up ready to take on the day, whatever the day holds! The good, bad or ugly, let’s do this day! You know how people wanna shout from the roof tops when they are in love? Instead of shouting from the roof top, loving myself makes me wanna sing, “I love myself today” by Bif Naked. Trust me you wanna crank this song and sing along. Feel good song of the day!

Truth is I struggled with my “uniqueness” over the years. I always thought I was down- right weird. Turns out I am and I freaking love it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I embrace who I am and what I am doing. I approach each day with positivity, love and understanding. I remember that it’s easier to be kind to yourself and everyone else. Each and every day I do my best and if my best isn’t good enough f@ck it!

I spent most of my life sucked into negativity. I lived my life for someone else, anyone else. The thought of loving my self was like some crazy whacky idea I could not wrap my head around. I poured my love into toxic relationships. I searched high and low for the wrong persons love. I changed my looks hoping for other people’s approval. People were not kind to me so in return I was not kind to them. I never knew what self-love was until I took the time to learn how to love myself. I was always trying to be whoever I thought you needed. I lived for everyone else and I forgot to live for me. Sound familiar? I completely lost who I was! I so badly wanted to please everyone else. I found myself saying who is Sascha Davis? I got sucked into a black hole of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts that haunted me and almost convinced me life wasn’t worth living. Talk about a broken record in my head, negativity over and over, the same crap until I believed it. What if I said kind things about myself over and over would I then believe those? Does it only work with negativity? I had to know more. Enough! I had enough! I would have screamed that from the roof tops but I didn’t because in my negative mind I thought no one would help me. You cannot make anyone else change, I know from experience you can only change yourself. You have to want to make this change. I did. I 1000% did. Deep down I always thought life had to be more than what I was doing.

I learned to erase negative thoughts. I learned to accept the things I could not change. Embrace the things that make me unique. I learned my values. I learned my dreams. I learned what was most important to me. I no longer allow other people’s judgments to matter in my life. I live for me! I am living my dream not yours. It is so easy in today’s times to get sucked into social media. You only see small clips of people’s lives. People make their lives look perfect in pictures. It’s hard to avoid drama and negativity. It’s hard to take negative feedback with a smile. It’s hard to not over think situations or things said about you or to you. I know the struggle is real, I lived it.

It is not easy to break free but it is the most amazing feeling. Today I live for me. I write my truth and I do my best to inspire others that anything is possible with the right mind set. If I can do this than you can too!

Like the quote by Wayne W Dyer “change your thoughts change your life”

Make yourself a priority

Make yourself a priority….

What are you doing in your everyday life to make yourself a priority? What time of the day is your time? What activity is your activity?

Too often we get swept up in the days doing everything for everyone else. I am guilty of this. I believe I am a born helper. I want to help everyone I meet. I enjoy helping others. I do admit though that in this helping process has led to me being “burnt out” for a while. I know what it is like to feel like this day in and day out. You gave your all and you have nothing left to give. You give and you give and you forget about yourself. This takes a huge toll on your mental health. Yes, I have had my struggles with mental health. Usually when I forget to care about myself then I end up getting sick.

Find your time. Find your passion.

In order to make myself a priority I had to learn to say no to others. This was, and sometimes still is, a hard thing for me to do. I know I cannot help everyone but for those I do, know that I give it my all. I do my best.
In order to make myself a priority I had to say yes to myself. I struggled with this at first but now I love time to myself. When I was stuck in negativity I was the last person I wanted to spend time with. I laugh as I type this because if I didn’t want to spend time with me why would anyone else? The only types of people who wanted to hang out with me were people stuck in the same kind of darkness.

My time is usually first thing in the morning or late at night. I struggle most nights to sleep. I am usually awake before my son and I enjoy having coffee in quiet. This gives me time to gather my thoughts and plan the day. I have a comfy chair on the deck facing the lake and I enjoy taking in the morning sights and smells. On days when I am too much of a wuss I can sit inside on my comfy chair looking at the lake. The water is my happy place. A big part in why I purchased my house is because I am close to the water. I am a water sign. The sunrises and sunsets over the lake are breathtaking. The sounds of the waves crashing upon shore are soothing. The view is one I will never get over. Every day I am so very thankful for where I live. I usually have a few minutes each day for fitness. I crank my angry blood pumping tunes and I run, I bike, I do yoga or an online work out class. I need these few minutes in the day to get back on track. I often come up with my writing ideas when I am working out. I don’t have a set time of the day that is one hundred percent mine and not every day goes as planned. Again, I don’t control the world even though I think I could rock that crown, ha. I just do my best to claim some part of the day as just time and I do something that is just for me. It’s the best feeling in the world.

Make yourself a priority. Find your time.

My passion is writing. I have always been a writer. For years and years I have written in journals. I have written poetry. I have written short stories. I just have never been brave enough to share my writing. I was always worried I wouldn’t be good enough. I wonder who am I writing for? I am writing for me because it’s something I love to do. So what if no one reads it? So what If I fail? I have had one heck of a fun time doing this. Yes it’s been a bit intimidating at times. Sharing my thoughts and feelings feels a bit like I am exposing myself. I started this journey as a life coach to share my experiences be it good or bad and have people grow and learn from them. I royally messed up my life but here I am still going forward. I am living my dream!

Blogging has opened up so many doors for me. I never dreamed that so many people would read my blog and reach out with such wonderful feedback. When I can sit and write I am at my happiest. I cannot wait for you all too read my book! I have never been so excited to live out my dream. I am doing it! You can do it too.

Find your time. Find your passion.