An interesting fact and guilty pleasure of mine is that I love drama. Not my own drama. Other people’s drama. But don’t get me wrong I have had more than my share of my own personal drama.
In my younger years, I used to have a t-shirt that I loved that said: “Save the drama for your momma” I wore it until you could no longer read the words. I loved that t-shirt. It was white with red letters. Then it sadly became just dull white and faded.
To be honest with you all, I have had enough drama in my personal life to last me for a lifetime. Now I do everything to avoid having drama in my life. I’m the first to admit I created a trail of drama everywhere I went for years. I coated people’s lives with drama. I was like the glitter you couldn’t get rid of.
The worst version of myself was during the drama years. I wish I would have saved my drama for my momma as my t-shirt said. I am certain I gave my momma enough stress. Her early grey hairs had my name on them. I pray my son is a better teenager-young adult than I was.
I am most thankful I learned how to change my life, my thoughts, and my actions. To know when to leave the drama behind, how to walk away, and just make each simple day filled with love. To be a kinder more selfless version of myself, to draw out my kinder qualities. To help and accept help.
One of my biggest guilty pleasures today is that I love drama-filled reality TV. I am one of the biggest fans of “90-day fiancé” I enjoy how people fall madly in love and move across the world to be with each other. I love love. The fairy tale love that everyone dreams about, the kind we read about in our romance novels, until it all comes crashing down. I love to watch but my heart aches for the people who get hurt as the world watches. I am not sure how some people come back from that public heartbreak. I am glad that my biggest heart break was behind closed doors alone. I am thankful when I picked myself back up it was just my dog and a few close friends that were witness. I am not sure what I would have done if millions of people could have reached out and told me about their opinion on social media. For the record I do not comment on any TV social media I keep my thoughts to myself, but I wish nothing but the best.
When I reflect on all the drama, I have had in my life what a horrible made for TV drama that could have been, then add in editing to include only the dramatic parts, the tell all’s, the sad moments, the things I would have said I didn’t mean I was just upset. TV really paints the worst versions of these people and yet I find myself unable to turn away. Sunday and Monday nights at 8PM are my reserved for TV times my guilty pleasure. Everyone knows and just lets me watch. I cry at all the wedding and the proposals. I am always so hopeful for anyone’s romance story! I have a tough time watching a season without googling to find out if the couples are still together.
I know I shouldn’t support this drama reality TV, but it is my guilty pleasure. It does remind me how fragile love is and how much work it takes to keep successful relationships. It reminds me to be thankful for the people in my life and to let them know every day how much I love and appreciate them.
I no longer engage in personal drama. I realized long ago that silence beats drama any day. If I have become silent it is because I do not have time for drama and I checked neither does my momma. Here’s to 2023 being quieter and filled with love.
Every day I work to make myself the best version of myself. Accept kindness and love. Sprinkle that shit on others like it is glitter they can never get off!