Recently someone said to me “Trust the next chaper of your life you know the author” this really made me think. As someone who aspires to one day finish this darn book I am working on writing, with the ultimate dream to be someones favourite author. I sometimes forget I am writing my life story. I have been so focused on this time of my life and sharing part of my life and lessons my sweet heart dog taught me. After my last blog a lot of people reached out to me about my son meeting his father and how it got to that point in life. I would say: We are all doing the best we can. Be kind to one another. Leave people better than you found them. Learn to forgive and how to love. Take time, sometimes all you need is time. Start with self forgiveness and self love and then you can move onto forgiving others and loving others. Learning forgivness and love enriched my life. No one taught me the art of self love. I became obessed with it when my life hit hard time. I will forever be working on myself and making time for myself. You have to take care of yourself in order to care for others.
It took me many years to learn and practise the art of self love. After I became a single mother I made alot of life changes and its has been a wild ride over the last 10 years. I am honest and I admit Inever wanted to be a mom and when I found out my tears were not happy tears they were pure fear. My biggest fear has been my greatest accomplishment. My son D is a sassy little version of me and I am thankful for friends and family who have helped me bring up this little man. I am thankful for those who gave me strength and kind words over the years. I have to admit seeing his father after 10 years was a difficult decision but I want to make anything my son wants possible. I have no idea how this will turn out but when you think of it we rarely know how anything we do will turn out we just do the best we can. Do your best.
Do I have regrets? Don’t we all? I have learned most of my life lessons the hard way but those lessons when learned the hard have stuck with me. I know I haven’t always made the best or right decisions but I did what I thought was right and I am thankful how life turned out and I wouldn’t change anything or I wouldn’t be where I am today. I know how to take ownership for the wrongs I have done and I willing say sorry when its due. I have had some great conversations over the last few years for reaching out to people I owed a sorry too. I have had alot of chapters in my life some page turning dramas, some boring parts, some what the fuck parts, some filled with laughter, love, change and filled with memories. I hope when I one day leave this world people remember the good in me and my son keeps that spark of life.
This las year has taught me that our time is limited and you can write your life however you want. What will your next chapter hold? Trust your process and decisions you make. Do your best and if your best isn’t good enough fuck it do it anyways! Make your book whatever you want it is your story and you are the author.