Overcoming fears

Overcoming fears….

As a child I developed a fear of snakes. How do they move so quick without legs? When I was just a little girl I crawled under my Oma’s (grandmas) porch to have a tea party with my doll when I saw a snake slithering towards me. I stood up to scream. I guess I forgot how tall I was and that I couldn’t stand up under the deck. I smashed my head and knocked myself out. When I woke up I had snakes on me and I was frozen in fear. Side note snakes local to where I live can NOT kill you so I wasn’t scared of that, I was just freaked right out. My Oma always had snakes at her house. I can remember pushing her in front of me to avoid snakes coming towards me. Yes, I am winning granddaughter of the year over here. I also had an incident with a water snake at our cottage. I swam to shore and thought I won. I was safe but, that little bugger came out of the water onto land and right up to the cottage. I was freaking terrified! My heart was just a going! Snakes always had a way of finding me and giving me an unnecessary fear.

My second fear, I would have to admit, is birds. Why do birds always fly into me? My brother convinced me when I was a kid that I had an abnormally large head. I became super self-conscious as a result. Before we had the internet I couldn’t google how big is the average sized head. Oh brothers, always gotta pick on the little sister. I had a duck bite me once at a park for no reason. I was minding my own business. We had a rooster on the farm who used to come down from the top of the barn wings flapping in my face. My aunt had birds as pets and she used to let fly around her house. Guess who they flew into? ME! Birds of all shapes and sizes always found me outside and flew right into my head. I was always watching the sky and dodging out of the way. What the heck birds?

I am happy to say I have overcome my fears of both these animals. I have held a snake and I didn’t die. I no longer run screaming from snakes. I breathe and I remind myself I can get through this. Birds don’t seem to fly into me so much anymore. They must have gotten the memo about me being in the flight path and they went up in altitude? My beautiful friend Anna has chickens and ducks as pets that you can snuggle. She invited my son and me over to meet her bird crew. I had a full on panic attack thinking about it but I knew my son wanted to go so I sucked it up and we went. My son wants chickens as pets. Anna has a chicken named Social, that if you call, comes right over and you can hold her. That was a first for us, but oh my goodness snugly chicken made our day. But wait there’s more. Then along comes Ducky the duck who is too cute, running full speed right towards me, had a lot to tell me, very vocal and ate out of my hand. I would say this was a bird win day. I remembered to breathe and I not only got through it I want a pet duck!

When my Oma was alive she always loved blue herons. She always seemed to see them and point them out. After her passing I find myself always seeing blue herons and I feel like it’s her way of saying hello. So when I see a blue heron I always say “Hi Oma”.

I feel like if I was a bird I would be a pink flamingo. The bird that is all legs just like me. My house is decorated with pink flamingos. They make me happy! I feel like the flamingo is my spirit animal. Obviously I googled the meaning of the pink flamingo being your spirit animal and it says: “may be a symbol for joy and fun. Seeing a flamingo can mean that you need to bring more fun into your life. Forgive yourself and get rid of all negative emotions. If the flamingo has appeared for you, it is the sign that you should live your life to the fullest.” Well that fits right in with my life!

I guess my biggest fear as an adult was to be alone. I always hated being alone. I always wanted to spend every second of the day with someone else. I didn’t know how to be alone. On the path to self-discovery I found out being alone and doing my own thing is refreshing. I have never enjoyed my life more than I do now. I know who I am, what I like and where I wanna go in life. I no longer live for anyone else. I live every day to the fullest. Like a pink flamingo, I have fun.

I am grateful for every day that I wake up. I try to be productive in making a difference in not only my life but the lives of those around me. I am blessed to have the most amazing group of friends, family, co-workers and community. When I am fearful I remind myself to breathe and this isn’t forever, I will get through this. I know that local snakes can’t hurt me. I know that birds can fly higher, but sometimes they choose me to say hello to me by flying into my averaged sized head. I know that being alone is a wonderful feeling. I know that I am safe and protected. I slow down and enjoy my life.

Know that if you feel fearful, you can reach out. It’s okay to ask for help. Especially in the ever fast changing times of Covid-19 everyone seems fearful. I am always here for you! Reach out and tell me your fears. I love you all! Stay safe and healthy! Wash your hands!