Mind-reading

Mind-reading

How cool would it be to have the ability to read minds? If I could have any superpower it would be the ability to read minds. Sign me up!

I admit I used to be the queen of bad communication. In my times of negativity, I could have been crowned one of the world’s worst communicators. Not the crown I want to wear.

Sadly I do not have the ability to read minds. However, I expected everyone to be able to read my mind.

In my transformation from a life riddled with negativity to a life glowing in positivity the first step I took was to reflect back on my life and what wasn’t working for me. I made a list of things to work on. I would say the biggest thing working against me was my communication skills, or should I say my lack of communication skills. I didn’t learn how to communicate. I learned how to shut down. When the going got tough in my life I shut down. I would run from my problems. Spoiler alert you can run but your problems will follow you. I didn’t want to face my problems or anything that upset me. I went silent. Another spoiler alert silence doesn’t solve your problems. Read my mind. I let my silence eat away at me. I didn’t know how to calmly communicate why I was upset. If you didn’t have the ability to read my mind you would have been lost, without a map, trying to figure out what I was upset about. I would remain upset for a long time without ever telling you why I was upset. Doesn’t that sound fun? I let myself get so worked up and so upset. I could feel myself seething with rage because you couldn’t figure out the exact moment your existence pissed me off. I know now why my relationships struggled. I struggled to communicate.

I wasted a lot of years stuck in negativity not communicating well. I remained silent and upset, never solving anything. Not communicating created more baggage for me to carry through life. I was exhausted. I was scared to tell you how I felt. I was scared to be judged and or rejected. My own self-communication was horribly negative. I only held on to the negativity. You could have said eight million nice things about me but that one time you said something slightly off I remembered that. I held onto that. My inability to communicate my feelings made me sick. Holding onto to so much anger I believe caused me a lot of health problems. In my years consumed by negativity, I had a lot of health problems. I didn’t look after myself. I wasn’t kind to myself. I drowned my negative feelings with my own dose of addictions. I am no doctor but I will tell you this also didn’t work well either.

I realize now very few people in this world can read minds. I was shocked to learn this! I am not a perfect communicator or an expert in anything just simply telling you about my transformation. Hoping to make someone’s life a little bit easier knowing they are not the only one in the world. We all have struggles. We all need help.

My communication ranged from simply not saying anything to losing my cool. From one extreme to the other. I missed the middle steps. What a horrible way to go through life. Silent or pissed off.

I am sorry for how I communicated with so many people over the years. I wish I would have taken the time to calm down, listen, and kindly reply. I have worked so hard to communicate in positive, kind ways. I changed the way I communicate with myself. I changed the way I communicate with others. Take time to listen. Take time to understand where other people are coming from. Take time to calm down and reply from a place of love, kindness, and positivity. Change starts with yourself. You have the ability to read your own mind. The only mind you can read is your own mind.

Reflect on what isn’t working in your life and find ways to change and make this life your best life!